True Friendship

I have never been a resident in jail/prison (thank goodness!) and I don't intend to be!  Recently, though, I saw a program about prisoners who had to go to the "hole"(solitary confinement) -- talk about nightmare material!  Anyway, these inmates are confined to their cells for 23 hours a day, with little or no communication with anyone.  This punishment, the lack of personal interaction, has a dramatic effect on the mental capacities of most inmates.  What conclusion can we draw?  Man was created for being with others.  To be more specific, every person needs healthy friendships!

I found an excellent blog post from SOUL CAFFEINE, entitled True Friendship.  The author shared a few key traits that every healthy friendship should include.

1.  Friends Forgive.  Proverbs 17:9
2.  Friends Love Unconditionally.  Proverbs17:17
3.  Friends Have Your Back!  Proverbs18:24
4.  Friends Tell You The Truth.  Proverbs 24:26
5.  Friends Make Each Other Better!  Proverbs 27:17
6.  Friends Communicate Openly.  John 14:15


"Friends are friends forever, When the Lord is Lord of them..."


Carpe Diem!

The REAL Sandi Patty!

Real life is sometimes funnier than even the best of sitcoms!  Take the other night, for instance.  Our ranch  was treated to special evening of dinner and Thunder Basketball.  Our hosts went all out, reserving the SandRidge Energy suite -- snacks, big screen tv, and really nice seats!  What an evening!

During the pre-game activities, a really nice couple joined us.  They introduced themselves as Don and Sandi. (Can you see where this going?)  Being clued in that Sandi's last name was Patty, Kelly introduced herself and confirmed that this was, in deed, the truth. Told that it was her professional name, K (still clueless) asked her if she was often confused for the contemporary gospel singer.  Sandi's reply?  "I am her!"  Kelly's reply?  "Oh!  Then I love you so very much!"  Everyone has gotten a good laugh that Kelly got to meet THE REAL SANDI PATTY!

On a more serious note, you couldn't ask for a more unpretentious person!  The "real" Sandi Patty was so ... so real!  She was very personal and made an effort to meet and visit with each one of us.  Kelly and I were star-struck!  We had such a nice visit with her throughout the evening!  What a blessing!

How real are you?  Do you keep one "personality" for public viewing and the "real" you when you are alone?  For me, that is just too much work!  Experience and the study of God's Word have taught me that we should continuously strive to be more like Christ -- the same wherever we are!  For me, Sandi Patty is totally real!  Hopefully, people see me that way, too!

Be real!

Carpe Diem!

Is That Spinach In Your Teeth?

Growing up, Popeye was popular cartoon.  It always amazed me how strong he could get just from "inhaling" a can of spinach!  I wanted to be like him so much, but I had one problem -- I hated spinach!  Couldn't even stand the smell of it cooking!  All of these years later, I still hate cooked spinach.  Guess what, though?  I do love fresh spinach.  I guess I am healthier, but where is the strength?!

It is safe to assume that most people would prefer strength over weakness.  Every mom and dad thinks their son or daughter could be president of the United States -- I'm guilty of this.  We guide are children to work hard so they can get into the most prestigious colleges or universities.  If they are they show the least little bit of athletic ability, we push them so they can get a college scholarship and then maybe make it into the pros.

Well, guess what?  For most of these kids, it ain't gonna happen!  In our pursuit of striving for a better life for our children, we have ignored the main ingredient -- their God-given talents (strengths).  We are brainwashed into believing that, if we could just help them improve their academic weaknesses, they could become a successful doctor or lawyer.  If we would just turn that around and focus on their strengths, they would be much more successful and happy.  Not everybody can be an accountant.

We will, most likely, never have the physical strength of Popeye or Superman.  We can, however, be all God wants us to be by working on our natural talents (strengths) and using them to expand His Kingdom!

This is one of the major objectives in raising our boys at the ranch.  Help them discover and develop their talents, so they, too, can be all that God wants them to be and live happy, productive lives.

Carpe Diem!

Where Has the Time Gone...

The best laid plans of mice and men... It was not my intention to not post for such a long period of time. But, life happens -- best I can come up with this morning! While certainly not boring, life at the ranch seems to have settled down some. It is always nice to "graduate" from a time of transition! As we approach the end of another year, most people look back and marvel at how quickly time has passed. (I know I do!) "How did this year pass faster than previous years?!" We then reflect on how we spent our time. What did we accomplish? Are we better off? Is our world? This leads to resolutions for the future. What can we do better? What changes need to be made? Now for the hard part -- putting "feet" to our resolutions! The question has proceeded from what to how. For many, this is where our "balloon" deflates. Our intentions are good, but we can't seem to get our behinds in motion! Anything worth accomplishing requires work on our part, a resolute determination to "get'er done" (Thanks, Mater!). Whether it is losing weight or living within a budget, we have to commit to doing whatever it takes to achieve each commitment. Mistakes and mess-ups are bound to happen but shouldn't defeat us! How does this relate to being a houseparent at a boys ranch? Everything! In the grand scale of things, our "time" with them is short! To make a difference in their lives, we have to first get our own lives in order. We have to be the example; share from our own experience; teach out of the "overflow"! What time is it? Its time to get busy! Carpe Diem!

Friends Are Friends Forever...

In a recent blog post, Brad Hoffmann shared this quote:

Our lives are full of acquaintances, but in sore need of friendships.

In this day of ever-changing technology and better forms of communication (I love my iPhone!), our world seems to be getting smaller. Is it, though? It seems we are getting more isolated (distant) by the day! Facebook has "friends; Twitter has "followers", and Linked In has "connections. We must admit, though, that most of these contacts are really acquaintances not friends, in the true sense of the word. Friendships are vital when working on a boys ranch. It is easy for houseparents to get so caught up in the lives our "boys", that we neglect our relationships with those "outside our bubble". This can result in feelings of isolation and a feeling of "disconnection" with other adults. This is not God's intention! We need a circle of friends to keep us going! Houseparents need your help! Because our duties involve parenting multiple boys on a 24/7 basis, you might need to make the first move in establishing a relationship. Do not be afraid of our boys! They are normal kids dealing with abnormal situations! They need interaction with adults as much as the houseparents. Use FB, Twitter, text messages, cards, and phone calls to keep in touch, but personal, face-to-face visits are especially needed. It will help us to "keep on, keeping on"! We want to minister to these boys out of the overflow and not from a dry well! Communication is the name of the game! Could this be your ministry? Are you a Barnabas? Being a houseparent is definitely a calling! You know what? I wouldn't be doing anything else! Carpe Diem!

Reality: Is the Honeymoon Over?

Any time we make a change in our life, we enter a transition stage. We are closing down life as we know it and opening the door to a new "normal"! Like getting a fresh start. This is sometimes called the "honeymoon" phase. Everything is new and exciting, a clean slate, like starting a new adventure. Little things don't bother you. You are so glad you made this change. Everything is coming up roses!

Then it hits! CRASH! Reality brings you back to earth. The rose-colored glasses get knocked off. Those little things that didn't matter now become big things that do. All of a sudden, this new adventure is losing its luster. Gladness turns into the "what have I done" stage. Life before this change doesn't seem so bad after all.

This new reality requires adjustments on our part. It is inevitable! While some adjustments are easier than others, you still have to go through it. You gotta learn a new way of doing things! You "aint" in Kansas any more!

We have come back down to earth in our new position as houseparents! Reality has definitely set in. While we know deep down that this, too, shall pass, its hard going through the transition. How do we deal with it? Thats hard to answer. For us, we need encouraging words, time for prayer and reflection, and plain, old perseverance.

One more thing! Knowing that we have five extra sets of eyes watching every move we make, we try to make this time a learning experience. We are fully aware that we are human -- the boys need to know this, too. In seeking to maintain a strong family structure, we want the boys to visibly see that they are an important part of the process. All of this takes time! Patience is a virtue!

The honeymoon may be over, but the journey continues! We are in this for the long haul! We will survive! Man, if we can do it, you can too!

Carpe Diem!

Soon Its Gonna Rain...

What a summer! We moved back to Oklahoma and were greeted with the longest heat wave since 1980 (yes, I remember it!)! The only difference is that I am now 31 years older -- meaning I melt a lot faster! Extreme weather affects every facet of one's life, especially health and livelihood. Prayer chains around the country prayed for rain. And, in a mighty way last night, God answered that fervent request. The storm came with a vengence. We had some property damage, but no one was hurt here at the ranch.

In recent years, it seems the tune "Soon its gonna rain, I can feel it..." comes to mind. I can't help but hum it when the drops finally fall. There's a part of me that just knows that God's gonna bring the rain when I pray...hopefully sooner rather than later. To me, the cup "is half full"!

It is easy to understand why our boys may have "half empty" vision. We try to use teachable moments", like last night's storm, to redirect their sights the other way. Prayer is powerful! God is with us through the droughts of our life. If we remain faithful and persevere, "soon it will rain, we will feel it..."

Carpe Diem!